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We Are All Perfectly Fine by Jillian Horton book cover
We Are All Perfectly Fine: A Memoir of Love, Medicine and Healing Reading Guide

We Are All Perfectly Fine: A Memoir of Love, Medicine and Healing Reading Guide

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We Are All Perfectly Fine: A Memoir of Love, Medicine and Healing by Jillian Horton is the winner of the 2024 Edna Staebler Award for Creative Non-Fiction.

In We Are All Perfectly Fine (HarperCollins Canada), Dr. Jillian Horton recounts her transformative experience during a five-day retreat at a Zen centre in New York. Initially uneasy with the silent meals and guided meditations, she connects with fellow physicians who share candid stories of guilt, grief and fear of failure. Horton discovers her burnout is not just personal but rooted in a flawed medical system that pressures doctors to suppress their emotions. Through this journey, she highlights the mental health struggles of medical professionals, the impact of systemic issues and the vital need for self-compassion in healing both patients and themselves.

Included in this guide: 

Learn more about Edna Staebler, her award and the genre of creative non-fiction.

Synopsis

Jillian Horton, MD, a general internist, has no idea what to expect during her five-day retreat at Chapin Mill, a Zen centre in upstate New York. She just knows she desperately needs a break. At first, she is deeply uncomfortable with the spartan accommodations, silent meals and scheduled bonding sessions. But as the group struggles through awkward first encounters and guided meditations, something remarkable happens: world-class surgeons, psychiatrists, pediatricians and general practitioners open up and share stories about their secret guilt and grief, as well as their deep-seated fear of falling short of the expectations that define them. Horton realizes that her struggle with burnout is not so much personal as it is the result of a larger system failure, and that compartmentalizing your most difficult emotions—a coping strategy that is drilled into doctors—is not useful unless you face these emotions too. Horton throws open a window onto the flawed system that shapes medical professionals, revealing the rarely acknowledged stresses that lead doctors to depression and suicide, and emphasizing the crucial role of compassion not only in treating others, but also in taking care of ourselves.

About Author

Jillian Horton, MD, is an award-winning medical educator, writer, musician and podcaster. She completed a residency and a fellowship in internal medicine at the University of Toronto and has held the post of associate dean and associate chair of that department. For 16 years, she has cared for thousands of patients in an inner-city hospital. During that time, she had three sons and mentored hundreds of students. She now leads the development of new programs related to physician wellness and won the 2020 AFMC-Gold Humanism Award. As a teacher of mindfulness, she is sought after by doctors at all stages of their careers. Horton completed a masterʼs in English at the University of Western Ontario before beginning her journey into the heart of medicine.

Discussion Questions

  1. In We Are All Perfectly Fine, Horton shares her experience as a doctor facing burnout. How did her journey resonate with you? Have you faced similar pressures in your own work?
  2. Horton writes vividly about a range of systemic challenges within healthcare—for doctors, patients and caregivers. Which challenges stood out to you the most? Are they unique to healthcare or can they be found in other professions, too?
  3. Horton talks about vulnerability as both a source of strength and a source of healing. What effect does learning to become vulnerable have on Horton? How does being vulnerable challenge our traditional views of what it means to be strong?
  4. Horton discusses the impact of mental health struggles on healthcare workers. What do you think societyʼs expectations are of professionals in the helping professions, and how might this contribute to their burnout or reluctance to seek help? Do you think gender plays a role in these expectations and challenges?
  5. Horton describes how telling her own story and sharing her experiences helped her heal. Do you agree that storytelling can be a form of healing? Can you think of a time when telling your story or listening to someone else's helped you?
  6. One of the central themes of the book is finding a balance between work and a personal life. How do you try to achieve or maintain this balance? How have our expectations about work being a central focus of our lives shifted in recent years?
  7. Horton reflects on the support she receives from her family and the importance of community in healing. What role did her family and friends play in her recovery? How important do you think community support is when facing personal challenges? How can we reach out to others when we need support? How can we identify those who need our
    support and offer it?
  8. In We Are All Perfectly Fine, Horton grapples with her identity as a doctor and as a person. How does her story explore the intersection of personal and professional identities? How do we decide how much of ourselves we bring to work?
  9. How does Horton use the techniques of creative nonfiction, such as original research, point of view, character and dialogue, to create an engaging exploration of mental health?
  10. In the CBC Radio One: Ideas episode Healing and the Healer (link below), Horton offers a unique perspective on the role of doctors and patients in the healing process. How does this episode deepen or expand on the themes in her book, and what new insights did it bring to your understanding of the complexities of healing?
  11. After reading We Are All Perfectly Fine, what do you think is the most important message or takeaway from the book? How did the book affect how you think about the work of healthcare professionals today?

What the Judges Said

Even before the pandemic, Canadaʼs healthcare system and the professionals who make it function were staggering beneath the burden of societal expectations. Jillian Horton, a gifted general internist driven to reverse her familyʼs experience of medical ineptitude, is physically and psychologically exhausted by her responsibilities as a doctor, teacher and mother. Her participation in a meditation retreat for medical practitioners gives her, quite literally, the breathing room she needs to assess herself and her profession, shedding the cloak of the all-knowing physician to reveal the human being within and challenging readers to develop a more humane, balanced vision of healing. 

Further Resources

Healing and the Healer
Ideas, CBC Radio One (Posted Jan. 18, 2024)
Listen to this recording of the presentation Dr. Jillian Horton delivered in November 2023 at the Edna Staebler Award for Creative Non-Fiction ceremony on compassion in health care.

Dr. Jillian Horton examines burnout facing healthcare professionals in new book
The Next Chapter, CBC Radio One (Posted Jan. 27, 2023)
The Winnipeg medical educator and writer discusses her new memoir with Shelagh Rogers.

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